When the Shame Won't Let You Stop Hiding

Everyone has a moment they're sure defines them. Here's why your worst night doesn't get the final word. About this episode Matt Edmundson walks through Peter's worst night, the charcoal fire in a courtyard where he denied ever knowing Jesus three times. Then to a beach, where the risen Jesus lights the same kind of fire, cooks breakfast and asks three times, once for each denial, do you love Me. It's a talk about shame, grace and finding a way back when you're sure you've disqualified yourself, part of the Jesus the Revolutionary series. Timestamps 00:07 Welcome back after the summer break 03:07 One story that runs through all four Gospels 05:17 The courtyard and the charcoal fire 09:52 How easy the denial was 11:40 Breakfast on the beach 13:54 The same word for both fires 15:15 A chip shop, a smell, and how shame grows 17:20 What shame does and what Jesus does 18:50 A job, not a probation 20:20 Name your fire 21:41 Conversation Street begins 31:16 Resentment and the prodigal's older brother 34:20 Shame and conviction, and the difference between them 48:31 Why the opposite of faith is certainty 51:10 When our worship songs run on bravado 62:55 What's on next week, plus Alpha and Live Lounge Key references Luke 22, Peter promises to go to prison and death, and Jesus tells him he will deny Him three times before the rooster crows John 18, the courtyard, the charcoal fire, and the three denials John 21, the risen Jesus cooks breakfast on the beach and asks Peter three times, do you love Me, then says, feed my sheep The Greek word for charcoal fire, anthrakia, which appears exactly twice in the New Testament, once in the courtyard and once on the beach Genesis 3, Adam hiding after it goes wrong Romans 2, on the goodness of God leading us to repentance Luke 15, the prodigal son and the older brother who resents the welcome John 6, where the disciples stay because there is nowhere else to go and Jesus holds the words of life Acts 4, Peter's prayer for boldness after Jesus returns to heaven Anne Lamott, the writer Anna mentions on faith, doubt and certainty Sand Between Your Toes by Anna Kettle, with a second book on the way CALM, the Campaign Against Living Miserably, on men and shame Quotes from the talk Shame takes you back to the fire and rubs your face in it. Jesus takes you to the fire and feeds you breakfast. (Matt Edmundson) He is not standing at your fire to cancel you. He's standing at it to cook you breakfast. (Matt Edmundson) The man who robbed money became the man who accounted for it. It's like a reverse Judas. (Matt Edmundson) Grace doesn't just pardon Peter. Grace promotes him. (Matt Edmundson) From Conversation Street Where the talk ends and the real conversation begins. Anna Kettle and Dan Orange picked up the comments coming in live. Dan said he had never put the two threes together before, the three denials and the three times Jesus asks do you love Me. Same wound, healed one layer at a time. Dan on the kind of freedom this is, God doesn't set us free by hiding the thing away, He frees us right where it happened. Anna added that this is the opposite of cancel culture, honest about what happened and still full of grace. Dan asked a fair question, is there a Peter in your life you quietly resent for being restored while your own road went the other way. Matt tied it to the prodigal's older brother, and Anna shared growing up in church wondering why other people seemed to get more than she did. On shame and conviction, Matt described conviction as an arrow you take on the chin that draws you towards God, while shame makes you hide, the way Adam did. Dan added that shame tends to attach to identity, you stole so you must be a thief, and God can change that. Anna brought in the writer Anne Lamott, that the opposite of faith isn't doubt, it's certainty, and doubt is a normal part of a real walk with God. Dan wondered whether some of our worship songs run on bravado, all the things we swear we'll always do, and whether a quieter prayer for strength might be more honest. Links Everything at crowd.church This page: https://www.crowd.church/talks/when-the-shame-wont-let-you-stop-hiding A brand new Alpha course starts Wednesday 9 September, 7:30pm UK time on Zoom. No camera needed, no pressure, just honest conversation about the big questions. Register at crowd.church/alpha This talk is part of the Jesus the Revolutionary series. Shaz Edmundson picks it up next Sunday Crowd Church - a community for those who might not see the point of church.